I'm starting this off by telling a little bit about me so that you know where I am in life... I've been through a lot of difficult journeys in my life and I'll post about them next.
I have a child... She is my whole world, and I mean that. We'll call her M. I'm engaged to her father, we'll call him L. Let's start you off by telling how L. and I started dating...
I was sixteen years old, and L. was twenty one. I had been out of an abusive relationship for only one week and four days. There was a huge thing going on in our city for a holiday (I won't say which one). I saw L. at the store and asked him for his phone number...
He was in a hurry so he gives me a number, and it sounded fake... I watched for him all over town to see if he was around so maybe we could talk more, but didn't see him... That night I went home and kept trying to have my brother call him to see if the number was real, but he wouldn't.
The next day, I called and asked if L. was there and for some reason said okay and hung up the phone... He called back. He asked if I liked him, then asked why. It was a cute conversation and I'd never really dated before. That day he came over to my parents' house and we watched a movie... I have no idea what movie it was.
That night I found out that L. had a child already, I didn't think much of that... I didn't mind... Little did I know how much drama would come along with this relationship. Anyway, it started that way.
We dated for two months and he was already cheating on me. My grandmother passed away, and L. was dodging me with his new fling... After that my parents' moved out of state... Half way across the country... They came back in October, I wanted to go with them but I was scared... You see, change just isn't my thing.
I stayed here and moved in with my brother's girlfriend, L. eventually moved in with me there. We stayed there for a couple months, and then found a note on our door from my brother telling us we needed to help pay with bills or move out. We left. The bills were paid by the government, so I didn't see the point in us paying.
Anyway, we left and tried to stay at L.'s aunt's apartment, but she wouldn't even open the door. It was winter, we drove to his father's work and waited... We then went just near there (in sight) and got an apartment. They were crappy apartments.
We then stayed together there for two months, the longest two months of my life. We panhandled for those months daily just to pay the $90 weekly rent. Panhandling is bumming, asking for money from random people. It sucked, but we were young and I don't know where the idea came from but we did it.
After the two months of living there, we were told that an apartment had opened up and it was available to us. Income based apartments. They were very nice so we were excited, plus we didn't have to bum any more and there was heat and air built in. Super exciting.
Well, we still here... We have inspections all the time and it's super annoying. Okay so after a year of being together, I tried to go to the state my parents' were living in. Ended up not wanting to leave L. and coming back to him... He took me all the way there to visit though. It was awesome.
We came back and now we're just here. After two years my parents' moved back here, it was one of the happiest days of my life. A couple months later, I miss my period, take a pregnancy test and send a picture of it to my mom. I was so happy and so scared at the same time. My mom was ecstatic.
Eight months later out comes my amazing and beautiful daughter M. I was so in love and I still am. I've never known a love like this... She's (let's say) twenty months old now... I stay at home with her every day. Her first birthday was great, except for the fact that L's mom kept rushing me to cut the cake so she could leave, I waited until everyone had eaten, talked, and M. opened her presents... That and I didn't get to get her a single thing. That broke my heart.
Christmas that year was terrible for me also. We were snowed in and yet again I got to get her absolutely nothing... Luckily, she was young enough to not notice... I had thought that we would be able to bring her to my parents' house and she would open presents there, but the snow stopped that. It was a hard year.
As of now, I'm trying to do design online so I can save money for her birthday and Christmas this year... I think so far, this has been long enough... Thanks for reading, I'll post more soon.
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